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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097780">Peanut Butter Jelly Time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevilishDaddy/pseuds/DevilishDaddy'>DevilishDaddy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Solar Opposites</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Food Play, Masturbation, Other, Peanut Butter, Pretend-o-Deck, Xenophilia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:27:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,347</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097780</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevilishDaddy/pseuds/DevilishDaddy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yumyulack goes into the pretend-o-deck with a box of super absorbent tissues, a jar of creamy peanut butter, and a jar of strawberry jam.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Yumyulack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Peanut Butter Jelly Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHSPlayer/gifts">TheHSPlayer</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, somehow no one else has written anything for this fandom yet. So, congratulations! This is the start of the chaos! Hope you enjoy. XD</p><p>A gift to my wonderful @TheHSPlayer who fanned out with me right away today (one day after the show's premier) a helped me come up with some of the specifics for my current headcanons on how Shlorpian anatomy works, and why. Jesslack coming soon, but for now, here's this fic to establish some of the things we discussed. May it pave the way for xenophiles everywhere!</p><p>Glossary (HC in my personal headcanons):</p><p>Cilium — Small skin-colored (relative to the alien producing them) retractable limbs that the ? can produce (inflate?) on their forearms. HC: They can make these anywhere on their bodies<br/>Direct Definition: a short microscopic hairlike vibrating structure found in large numbers on the surface of certain cells, either causing currents in the surrounding fluid, or, in some protozoans and other small organisms, providing propulsion</p><p>Stadrils (HC) or Stamen Tendrils  — These rest inside the pelvic mound and are released during coitus to add extreme sensational gratification. They are also tipped in pollen fluid that can shared amongst mated pairs for bonding purposes, or extracted for the creation of clones or ? (Shlorpian version of offspring.)</p><p>Mound — The sexual organ, presumed to be located on the crotch. Having a small, flat, and crusty one is extremely not sexy. HC: These are supposed to be brightly colored, moist when they open or are stimulated, and are usually sizable 1. taking up the majority of the crotch region 2. Come off the body by at least an half an inch-two inches. Inside the mounds is an organic lining that opens up and produces stamen tendrils (called Stadrils)and soft moist tissue.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He only had about an hour before the assigned family dinner began, so Yumyulack decided that he would make the very best of that time. He ventured into the </span>
  <em>
    <span>pretend-o-deck </span>
  </em>
  <span>and greeted the computer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gooood afternoon, computer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome back, Yummy Bear,” the feminine voice replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yumyulack grinned, pleased that he had altered his username to his new Earthian nickname. Just the sound of it made his skin tingle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put down the things he’d come in with so that he could close the door behind him, locking it so that he couldn’t be easily disturbed. Then, he turned his attention to the middle of the room and clapped his hands. Rubbing his palms together, he said, “I’d like the usual, please. Earth beach with a shift to cheesy waves. Passcode 0-2-6-5-3-2.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” As usual, the computer was delightfully discrete. It revved up the hologram spatial displacers and the reality-perception distorting nanobites that would help Yumyulack ignore any trace elements of the actual machine he was playing in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In seconds, Yumyulack found himself standing on a beautiful Earth beach, a scene he’d borrowed from a vacationing commercial he’d seen on the television. The only notable differences were that this beach was completely empty of life besides him, and the ocean was made up of shifting spicy nacho cheese instead of salt water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice.” Yumyulack kicked off his shoes and sighed as he felt his toes slowly slip into the warm sands. Like most things on the real Earth, these sands had no particularly strong taste, but that was by design. He didn’t want to focus on some artificial ground. After all, that would ruin the real treat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yumyulack picked up the three items he had come in with and walked them over to his traditional beach-goer set up: a large towel spread out over a section of sand that had what he saw as the best view of the yellow-orange ocean. It was mid-day, so the sun was high. The radiation of the sun was mimicked by the UV plates created just beyond the illusion, and the heat sank deep into the boy’s blue skin. This made his mound tingle, but he had no interest in rushing to his stadrils. He was after a more erotic experience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting down on the colorful towel, Yumyulack sat the two jars and one box beside him. He opened the tissues and pulled the first one out, making that adorable tuft that would allow him to pull them at will in the near future. Then he reached over and opened up the large plastic jar marked “Creamy Peanut Butter: Extra Smooth”. He sat the lid aside and dipped his fingertip into the light brown surface. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ohhhh, yeah.” He moaned unabashedly and felt a shudder run from his fingers to his gut. Even without a single cilium extended, he could taste the nutty mess now sitting thickly on his digit’s peak. This would be enough to start with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yumyulack rubbed the substance between his forefinger and thumb, letting the peanut oils soak into his flesh. His eyelids fluttered as he allowed himself to indulge in the very specific flavor and texture of the peanut butter. Of all the fascinating things on the planet, he found few others inspired his senses in such a specific way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Satisfied, and wanting to taste a fresh wave, Yumyulack used a tissue to wipe off his fingers. He took a deep breath, then released thousands of cilia on his left arm. The small appendages swayed and licked at the air like long hairs blowing in the wind. He couldn’t keep them still, he was too excited. His right hand, all fingers, dipped into the opened jar and he took out a fist full of creamy spread. He held his breath as he ran the contamination over the full length of his left arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, fuck!” Yumyulack hissed as he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. His cilia writhed independently for a moment as they played around in the trail he’d run over them. For the first time that day, even including the sandwich he’d had at lunch, Yumyulack could </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>taste the peanut butter. The extra creamy texture was so thick that it smothered his skin, blocked out all light and other scents. His whole body buzzed and he felt the kick of dizziness that came with a sexual stimulus he didn’t fully understand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon, another handful was being slopped over the underside of his arm. Then he was using his left hand to coat his right arm. By the end of this first act, Yumyulack looked and smelled like he had arms of living peanut butter that wriggled and writhed just under the surface. He fell back onto the towel and let his arms flop out to either side. He didn’t care that the sand was getting all over his treat-turned-sleeves. In fact, it made the texture more interesting in areas where the sand dug deep enough that Yumyulack’s cilia could touch them. Added a little grain, a little crunch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Down at his pelvis, Yumyulack’s mound throbbed. He could feel his stadrils stir, shift around threateningly as his inner flesh became sticky and moist. It felt like his mound might start seeping pollination fluid at any point, an equally embarrassing and arousing concept.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-yes. Okay. Calm down.” After a moment, Yumyulack sat up and blinked against the brightness of the beautiful day. He’d temporarily allowed himself to go bright blind, but he needed to refocus. He didn’t want to orgasm so soon, for more than one reason. He still had plenty of time to advance this game. “Don’t overload over something so small. Let’s get some more first.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached over and took hold of the second jar, this one cool and smooth against his fingertips. It was made of glass and held a certain strawberry jam that Shaun from school had turned him onto by accident when he shoved the jelly-side of his sandwhich down Yumyulack’s pants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now for the legs,” Yumyulack purred the words. The vacuum seal on the new jar of jam made a satisfying </span>
  <em>
    <span>pop</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Once he was completely covered from head to toe in the two substances, </span>
  <em>
    <span>then </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’d allow his stamen tendrils to emerge to be physically stimulated. But that was always the most intense sensation, one that made Yumyulack overload almost instantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had just started to smear the jam onto his lower limbs, began taking in the sweet, sugary flavor and the rich, smooth, slightly grained texture of the jam, when the computer’s voice broke through his trance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Forgive the interruption, Yummy Bear, but Jesse is at the door.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yumyulack’s eyes bulged and then settled again. His mouth opened and closed in frustrated broken speech. “W-what? I- I was-! Seriously!? Now? What-? Why!?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She informed me that it’s an emergency, otherwise-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got it!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The simulation vanished and Yumyulack immediatly pulled in his cilia and began to wipe away all of the peanut butter and jam from his limbs that he could manage. Once he was sufficiently cleaned, he walked over and threw open the pretend-o-deck’s door. Sure enough, Jesse was standing there, with her little pink bow and a big non-emergency smile on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Yumyulack growled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! So, uhm, are you busy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took everything in Yumyulack not to lose his self-control and snap at his sister. “Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he groaned. That passive aggressive comment would suffice, for now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great! Come with me!” Jesse grabbed her brother’s arm and started to pull him towards their bedroom. “I saw something and I knew I had to show you right away! Also, why do you smell like peanut butter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ignore it. Come on. Hurry up and show me this </span>
  <em>
    <span>great </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the computer watched the children rush off, she mused internally about the energy of youth. She also wondered who would come and clean up the condiments from the pretend-o-deck, but just then—as if on cue—Korvo mosied by and took a peek inside the opened doorway. It would all be dealt with. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know this was a little "weird", but hopefully you still got a kick out of it. This was just a little something I did to stretch my writing muscles again, since I haven't written much in the way of fan fics recently. </p><p>Yummy Bear is my best boy and I really wanted to play around with some of the Shlorpian anatomy. This is based partially off canon and partially off my own headcanons. </p><p>If you liked this, please let me know to help inspire me to make more. Thank you!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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